SOMEONE LEFT ME A VOICEMAIL
Stockard Channing as Rizzo in “Grease” taught me more about sexuality, pregnancy, birth control, and abortion than my own mother did. She was a strong female character in a movie about an era where women were supposed to be subservient, the 1950s.
She is still an inspiration.
The majority of pro-gun Americans seem to always be chanting ‘It’s my RIGHT!’
Do these people realize that in Canada you also have the right to own a gun and ammo? IT’S TRUE!!!
Oh, but I hate to tell you that your freedoms are encroached because silencers are illegal, ‘cause those are for…
I love putting on a BBC Jane Austen miniseries to the howls of protest from the 11YO because I know in t minus 5 minutes he’ll be watching it with me.
Him: What kind of crazy British tradition is this? “I cut off your hair!”
Him: They’re gonna have a dingaling shakin’ contest.
Him: He just said he bred that horse for a woman so it must fit her vagina perfectly.
Him: This is actually pretty good.
Him: Sexy black hair!
Him: STARING STARING EVERYBODY’S STARING
Him: The littlest sister is hanging up shells on string like a Satanic worshipper.
Him: Strawbrees. Peaches and strawbrees.
Him: Did he say Brandon or Grandon?
Him: Who’s named Grandon?
Him: Well, here’s my trashy room!
Him: This is always the kiss scene, when they’re in a doorway, close together… They’re gonna kiss (sloppy kissing SFX) Oh how nice, they fell in love.
Him: Your face looks like a lady’s, mister.
Him (singing Broadway style): I wanted money from that mannnnn
Him: OK, I think that sexy stuff int he beginning was Willoughby with another woman then he left and met her and now he’s going back!
Him: These old ladies are GROSS.
Me: See? They hike.
Him: Yeah, well, they’re DUMB.
Him: Oh, gypsies aren’t so bad.
Me: Admit it, you liked it.
Husband: Don’t they ever show any sexy stuff?
Try this, you like:
I’m dating a man who I think I love, but I’m afraid he’s having an affair. He comes home late, he acts suspiciously, and he even has red lipstick on his collar. Should I confront him or just hope for the best?
- County Af-fair
Red lipstick? Your husband is a…